How to Survive Bonding Time 101: Venture Scapes’ Edition

Sometimes doing activities with our kids is…challenging? Bonding time can be one of those situations that doesn’t come with a manual and doing an escape room without one’s family is one of those scenarios that could turn out really positive or the opposite! Over the years, we’ve witnessed some families that really came together in victory of solving the puzzles and clues in times of stress, on the flip side we’ve overheard covert frustrations and impatience (escape rooms have that effect).  These days our kids don’t make the bonding time any easier either. With shorter attention spans, lower tolerance, and mix in family dynamic, it can be challenging to have a fun family activity without it turning into something draining. With our owner having a educational and career background in children mental health and what we have noticed over the past 4 years, we have complied a list of strategies that might help with those family bonding times to have less bumps than usual, applicable in escape rooms or any other family activities. 

• If their screens go away, so should yours. Multiple time we have seen kids trying to connect with parents by asking them to play a game (famously UNO) and parents will turn them down to look at something on their phone or answer call. Not cool.

 

•  Focus on one behaviour at a time. Correcting our kids on every behaviour is normal, but it’s not only overwhelming for you but also for them. Before an outing, correct the one behaviour that causes the most amount of ~stress~ and ignore the others. For example, if your kiddo has a tendency to yell AND swear, focus on the yelling and ignore the swearing for a short amount of time. Overcorrecting can lead to frustrations really fast.

 

• It may be obvious but PATIENCE. If you, as a parent, feel like your patience is wearing thin, then find something that helps YOU regulate. Our kids are more sensitive to our shifts in mood than we realize and pick up our level of tolerance too. Some things you can do in the moment: 

1. 1. 1. 3 lonnnng deep breaths (we need to do this more than we realize). 
      2. Step away for a quick moment, WITHOUT A PHONE. Take MORE BREATHS and come back. 
      3. Step back and let your kid figure it out. Their brains are in the process of being built, sometimes when we try to control every aspect of their negative behaviours, their brains don’t learn the natural consequences or trial and error of things. Let them have fun in their own way and try not to intervene as much. Imagine the wave of relief when you realize that your kid can truly figure things out on their own. 

4. Let them take the lead. Easier said than done but lopping back to our previous point, kids need that time to figure out things out and also feel involved. We’ve noticed that most kids in escape rooms eventually end up laying on the floor or sitting in a corner while other members do the rooms. Normalize your kid(s) taking turns between things and letting each person in the family having a moment to ~shine~! 

5. Give them responsibilities in part of the activities. In most cases, our kids don’t want to let us down and in the case they do, just remember it’s part of the learning process. 

6. Front load your expectations to your kid(s) beforehand. Half the time, kids don’t understand what is going on, let alone what is expected of them. By giving them a quick talk of what is expected and what you would like to see from them, helps eliminate half the frustrations. If they forget, give them a gentle reminder! If they really aren’t listening, front load them with a 3 warning system and brainstorm what an appropriate consequence would be. Examples can include:

       1. Taking a 3 minute break away from the activity and then coming back. 

       2. Screen time taken off 

       3. An extra chore 

If they are able to follow expectations, brainstorm some appropriate rewards! Examples can include: 

1. A little treat or getting their favourite food

2. They get first pick on the next family activity 

3. They can spend time doing something that they enjoy (avoid offering screen time for this).

7. Help them figure out how to respond to their emotions and bodies. Using our Mindfulness Guide on our website is something designed for parents and kids to fill out together to help your kid(s) build awareness on their emotions. 

We hope this helps! 

Venture Scapes’ Children & Family Escape Room